The Joys of Being a Couch Potato
Most of you may think that living the life of a couch potato comes
easy. "Hey, what do you have to do other than sit and watch tv all day
long?" "You're watching shows constantly, how can you have it hard?" are
just two questions that stereotype us couch potatoes.
Admittedly, the life of a couch potato, such as myself, is spent mostly watching shows, but there's a LOT of hard work involved in that. Do you know the sheer amount of mistakes in the shows? The improbable story lines just have you groaning aloud: "Really? You tagged along with a CIA operative?" "Seriously, how the hell do you type on the keyboard to open pictures? Heard of a mouse? Or does the clicking of the keyboard sound nicer?" "You didn't even pronounce that right" are just some "groan-ful" questions that you seem to ask.
Then there's a dearth of good snacking material at your house. Seriously, who the hell at my house decided that FRUIT and VEGETABLES are good to buy in large quantities to store in a fridge and then be "munched." Yes, I love fruits, but are they a couch potato snack? It's like my mom isn't even trying any more. She just decided to give up on it altogether.
Another downside to it is the constant reference speaking machine you become. "Yes indeedly do" you say, in the hope that someone would laugh at your Ned Flanders impression, but, of course, no one does. Your constant "Eaaguuuuuuuuuul" (Eagle) swan dives are ignored, in fact, instead of calling Zach Braff up to tell him he has a female doppelganger around, your friends and family are pretty much embarrassed about the whole affair. And don't even get me started on the British humour references you make. Monty Python, Black Adder, League of Gentlemen, Little Britain, Ali G, to name just a few, are simply unheard of. A friend put it like this "I don't like British Comedies, they make me feel as if I have to know things to enjoy them, unlike the American Sit-coms." I felt like tearing her head off, but right after I told her that if the British comedies made her feel like she didn't know enough then it made HER an illiterate, uncivilized person, and honey, the world doesn't exactly feel obligated to stroke your ego. Unless, of course, you're a rich, powerful man, preferably white, in which case the world will do your bidding!
And if you're the sort of couch potato who likes to watch a lot of documentaries and, as my nephew, who was 6 then, called them "Educational stuff" then you have to make peace with the fact that you would ALWAYS be the one who knows the most in any given conversation, which is fun for a bit, but then it just makes you realise that people bore you because you really do not want to be in the position to tell them which way to zip their pants each and every damn time. Thereby, the vicious circle of couch potatoness is set in motion, which slowly traps you and then sucks the people out of your life. As if your eccentric ways weren't eccentric enough already, now you have to become a recluse too.
So, dear friend, being a couch potato does not come easy. There are a lot of heartache and hard work involved in the process. Next time you are in the presence of a couch potato, please remember, we are people too, even though we are more educated and intellectually superior.
Admittedly, the life of a couch potato, such as myself, is spent mostly watching shows, but there's a LOT of hard work involved in that. Do you know the sheer amount of mistakes in the shows? The improbable story lines just have you groaning aloud: "Really? You tagged along with a CIA operative?" "Seriously, how the hell do you type on the keyboard to open pictures? Heard of a mouse? Or does the clicking of the keyboard sound nicer?" "You didn't even pronounce that right" are just some "groan-ful" questions that you seem to ask.
Then there's a dearth of good snacking material at your house. Seriously, who the hell at my house decided that FRUIT and VEGETABLES are good to buy in large quantities to store in a fridge and then be "munched." Yes, I love fruits, but are they a couch potato snack? It's like my mom isn't even trying any more. She just decided to give up on it altogether.
Another downside to it is the constant reference speaking machine you become. "Yes indeedly do" you say, in the hope that someone would laugh at your Ned Flanders impression, but, of course, no one does. Your constant "Eaaguuuuuuuuuul" (Eagle) swan dives are ignored, in fact, instead of calling Zach Braff up to tell him he has a female doppelganger around, your friends and family are pretty much embarrassed about the whole affair. And don't even get me started on the British humour references you make. Monty Python, Black Adder, League of Gentlemen, Little Britain, Ali G, to name just a few, are simply unheard of. A friend put it like this "I don't like British Comedies, they make me feel as if I have to know things to enjoy them, unlike the American Sit-coms." I felt like tearing her head off, but right after I told her that if the British comedies made her feel like she didn't know enough then it made HER an illiterate, uncivilized person, and honey, the world doesn't exactly feel obligated to stroke your ego. Unless, of course, you're a rich, powerful man, preferably white, in which case the world will do your bidding!
And if you're the sort of couch potato who likes to watch a lot of documentaries and, as my nephew, who was 6 then, called them "Educational stuff" then you have to make peace with the fact that you would ALWAYS be the one who knows the most in any given conversation, which is fun for a bit, but then it just makes you realise that people bore you because you really do not want to be in the position to tell them which way to zip their pants each and every damn time. Thereby, the vicious circle of couch potatoness is set in motion, which slowly traps you and then sucks the people out of your life. As if your eccentric ways weren't eccentric enough already, now you have to become a recluse too.
So, dear friend, being a couch potato does not come easy. There are a lot of heartache and hard work involved in the process. Next time you are in the presence of a couch potato, please remember, we are people too, even though we are more educated and intellectually superior.
posted by Urooj @ 11:38
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